Archive for the ‘The Porteño Menace’ Category

Maradona's Heart Achieves Asystole - Argentina's Last Icon Dead

Wednesday, November 25th, 2020

Today former football star Diego Maradona died at the age of 60 after suffering years of generally bad health. Maradona's would be successor, Lionel Messi, never had the success playing for Argentina's national team which could have established actual status as a successor though... comparable successes. Like its departed icon Maradona, Argentina suffers grave health issues as well. Unlike his homeland, Maradona's heart can rest having achieved asystole, the most stable rhythm.

Buenos Aires: Pigs Slaughtered In Street After Truck Overturns As Police Stand By

Wednesday, October 7th, 2020

(more...)

Coca Cola Reorganizing South American Operations To Eliminate Argentine Regional Headquarters

Wednesday, September 30th, 2020

(more...)

Argentine Legislator Suspended For Kissing Tits During Session

Friday, September 25th, 2020

(more...)

El Presidente: "Se nos viene una decisión bien difícil, que atenta directamente contra una base económica del país, que es el turismo"

Monday, September 21st, 2020

Today President Luis Lacalle Pou expressed doubts that the borders with Argentina and Brasil will open for the summer tourism season. Historically Argentina has been the leading source of tourists by headcount, but Paraguay may lead this upcoming summer season.

Argentina Orders Mass Print Run Of 1000 Peso Notes From Brasil As Their Own Money Printer Can't Operate Fast Enough To Meet Demand

Friday, September 11th, 2020

(more...)

Ambassador Needed To Intervene After Argentina Held Back LNG (Supergas) Shipment

Thursday, September 10th, 2020

(more...)

Argentina Claiming "Control" Over Locust Plague, Surviving Pests Remain ~20 Kilometers From Border

Monday, July 27th, 2020

(more...)

Argentine Broadcaster Reports Threatening Messages From Argentine Despot Fernandez After Interviews With Uruguayan President Luis Lacalle Pou

Wednesday, July 22nd, 2020

(more...)

Red Alert Issued: Argentine Locust Plague Within 60 Kilometers Of Border

Tuesday, July 21st, 2020

The locust plague which has been rampant in Argentina since May has now closed to within 60 kilometers of the border appearing in the Argentine village of Federal. The Ministerio de Ganadería Agricultura y Pesca's Dirección General de Servicios Agrícolas has issued a read alert for the threat. To combat the locusts 122 planes have been made available with one already performing surveillance and three ready to begin fumigation when the enemy is sighted. (more...)

Argentina: Former Kirchner Secretary Found Dead After Arrests Made

Saturday, July 4th, 2020

Former personal secretary of Nestor and later Cristina Kirchner, Fabián Gutiérrez was found dead. The body was found buried with wounds from stabbing and blunt trauma after several arrests and confessions were reportedly made in connection with its disappearance. Gutiérrez was implicated in the Kirchner "notebook" corruption case and had joined the prosecution as a witness offering information on the logistics of bribery.

Argentine Terrorist Captured Trying To Enter Uruguay Extradited

Thursday, June 25th, 2020

Argentine terrorist Sebastián Rodrigo Romero was extradited today after being caught trying to enter Uruguay from Brazil in Chuy less than one month ago.