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Cerrito Man Kills Home Invader

Sunday, January 3rd, 2021

A 70 year old man defending his home in the Barrio and former national capital of Cerrito de la Victoria killed a 22 year old home invader. The man awoke to the sound of home invaders and confronted three men with his 22 caliber pistol, hitting one. The cadaver was dumped in front of the Instituto Nacional de Ortopedia y Traumatología by the deceased's compatriots who went on to abandon their car in the barrio Malvin Norte.

Man Dies After Breaking Into Italian Embassy

Friday, January 1st, 2021

A 35 year old man died after breaking into the Italian Embassy on José Ellauri this morning. The man arrived in a truck and worked his way through the fence before being detained by embassy staff. After police arrived and began the process of placing the man under arrest, he entered cardiac arrest and his death is officially recorded as occurring at the Hospital de Clínicas. The deceased was an Italian citizen with an Uruguayan identification document.

USSA: NH Governor Sununu Cancels Own Inauguration Ceremony Over "Threats

Wednesday, December 30th, 2020

New Hampshire Governor Chris Sununu has canceled his own planned inauguration ceremony following his alleged reelection after a suspected dissident was captured outside his home. The prisoner, 38 year old Skylar Bennett, was captured by forces loyal to the Governor outside the Sununu's residence during a candlelight vigil held for victims of the lockdown inflicted by Sununu.

Early Pfizer Vaccine Headlines Suggest 2021 To Feature A Repeat of 2020 Playbook

Monday, December 28th, 2020

The much hyped Pfizer vaccine solution to the new normalcy is creating headlines that seem engineered to ensure the hysteria crisis endures. German nursing home workers overdosed with Pfizer's vaccine have been sent to the hospital with "symptoms" while near zero attention is being paid in mainstream propaganda outlets to the much hyped COVID-19 virus's inability to shift total mortality in the US despite substantial increases in suicide and overdose deaths.

Between the likely intentional headline making vaccine disasters, virus that isn't significantly more deadly than any other annual respiratory virus pandemic, and a new less deadly but more contagious "mutant strain"... the playbook for 2021 seems to be a repeat of 2020.

USSA: Nashville Christmas Bombing Affects AT&T Network Uptime In Three States

Saturday, December 26th, 2020

Yesterday an RV exploded in Nashville, Tennessee across from an AT&T facility. The RV had a loudspeaker system which announced that it was going to explode 15 minutes before exploding. 41 businesses suffered damage, three people were wounded, one set of potentially human remains were found.

Damage to AT&T infrastructure disrupted both wireless and wired networks in Tennessee along with parts of Kentucky and Alabama. Government networks were affected as well.

Neither police nor government aligned media have been able to identify suspects or offer a motive for the bombing.

Intendencia And ADEOM Announce Yearly Trash Crisis

Thursday, December 24th, 2020

Trash collection from dumpsters has slowed in most parts of Montevideo, as it typically does during the holiday season. January 10th is the earliest date to expect collection to catch up to a more normal pace.

Airstrip One Isolated London Evacuated

Sunday, December 20th, 2020

The British Islands have become even more acutely following panic over a new 'mutation' of a now common upper respiratory virus. Londoners have evacuated the city due to a an internal lockdown targeting the city. The movement of persons from London to rural areas is unmatched since 1939's evacuation of the city, a development which surely ought to be contrary to a stated aim of controlling the spread of a contagion present in both the city and much of the rest of the world.

USAG Barr Out, Electoral College Goes For Biden

Wednesday, December 16th, 2020

US Attorney General Barr will be leaving his office before Christmas. Among his accomplishments are suppressing knowledge of an investigation into President Elect Joe Biden's son Hunter for influence peddling, allowing Jeffery Epstein to die in prison, and actively working against the agenda of the US President that appointed him. Lame duck US President Donald Trump took no effective actions to prevent North America's own Juan Guaidó from ascending in his color revolution to become President Elect.

Danish Mink Genocide Endangers Ground Water Quality

Friday, December 11th, 2020

A complete genocide of commercial minks in Denmark over fear of a coronavirus appears to be having a negative effect on several groundwater reservoirs due to sloppy mass burial practices. The slaughter allegedly culled the entire Danish Mink population though approximately 4500 tons of dead mink representing a million an a half minks, roughly one tenth of the total population culled, is unaccounted for. Exploratory drilling suggests fluids from rotting minks have already made contact with groundwater reservoirs.

Texas Sues Georgia, Michigan, Pennsylvania, And Wisconsin Over Election Shitshow

Wednesday, December 9th, 2020

Texas is suing Georgia, Michigan, Pennsylvania, and Wisconsin for their unconstitutional mismanagement of this year's Federal election which diluted the votes of Texans. Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, Florida, Indiana, Kansas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Montana, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Utah, and West Virginia joined an Amicus filing in Texas's suit lead by Missouri Attorney General Eric Schmitt. As the parties to this suit are constituent states of the US, the only venue for the suit to be heard is the US Supreme Court.

Denmark Decides To Shutter Oil Industry

Wednesday, December 9th, 2020

Denmark's "Climate Minister" Dan Jørgensen announced that his country would be shuttering its oil and gas industry by 2050. The follows alleged "center-right" opposition from the Liberal Party conceding to end the current round of licensing for exploratory petroleum operations. Revenues extorted from petroleum producers are a major source of funding for Denmark's welfare state, a welfare state feeding an increasing number of dependent migrants.

Former President Tabaré Vásquez Dead At 80

Sunday, December 6th, 2020

Former President (2005-2010, 2015-2020) Tabaré Vasquez (1940-2020) died this morning. His first term as President is known for the perceived boom times and high approval that followed a socialist turn in Uruguayan policy. His second term as President is known for stagnation and low approval ratings that came from continuing along the socialist turn implemented during his first term. Vásquez left the Presidency on March 1st of this year when 46 year old Luis Lacalle Pou assumed the presidency following last year's election. President Lacalle Pou declared three days of national mourning for his predecessor.

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